I always wanted to... {Join the Circus!}

(Map of Imagination by Villa Figura on Etsy!)

When I was a young girl, I wanted to join the circus.  Paper mache clowns perched on trapeze swings hung from the ceiling in my room, while books about Clown School and Tightrope walkers perched on my dresser.   I never missed Circus of the Stars.  Several times, I packed my bags and announced to my parents that I was running away to join the circus, and wanted my father to drive me to the train station (which I believed would magically lead directly to the Circus).  I never made it to the Circus. 

As the years passed, my circus dreams would blend into new dreams and life fantasies: I wanted to be a magician's assistant and travel the world with David Copperfield after watching his specials on television.   Later, I was bitten by the acting bug and had dreams of traveling the world performing in plays.  I wanted my life to be one grand adventure, one well told story. 

It came as no surprise to my family when my heart chose a handsome Magician for a husband;  nor was it a great surprise, that I would travel frequently, and continue to dream about far off lands, and conjure notion after notion of how I might inspire and connect with people.  Wasn't that what my Circus dreams were all about, after all? Travel. Connection. Inspiration. & Creating Laughter/Sparking Joy?

Over the years, giving up on dreams has never been a viable alternative to finances which have (at times) been  tight and underfunded or to the questions of: so how much longer until my big break/ huge success/ great opportunity rolls in?  My husband and I have spent many late nights talking one another away from the dark cliff called "giving up" and many road trips discussing how the world needs artists, perhaps more now than ever.

Through encountering many moments when bills loomed but there was a shortage of funds, or lack of public response to artistic gems (or so we thought) which had been released into the world, we've come to trust that somehow bills will get paid, and that the Universe/ Ether/ Great Mystery that is Life has its own sense of timing and wisdom. 

Jason and I have spent many hours playing the wouldn't that be fun game: Wouldn't it be fun to travel in an AirStream for a Summer, making magic and documenting it? 

Wouldn't you know, Life was listening and thought all of this would be fun. The phone rang a week or so ago, & a proposition made - how would you like to go on tour this year? Yes, there will be clowns, and magic, and travel. Yes, your family may join you any time you like. Better get that AirStream/Trailer.

With a baby due in February, isn't the timing a bit... off? After much deliberation, the answer is a resounding "no".  The timing is, as it always is, perfect.  It may not be quite when or how you (or I)  imagine dreams and goals manifesting, but Life has a way of knowing what timing is best.

So this year, my long held dreams of joining the Circus, cavorting with clowns and magicians will be realized with a brand new bebe in tow, cradled safely against me as I capture the year in photos and words.  The wee ones and I may not be able to follow the entire tour, but will be there for a great majority of it. Isn't that just the miracle of holding on to dreams? One day, out of nothing, and out of no way - a way is found; and this, my friends, takes Trust in the timing.

Circus. Magic. Clowns. Travel. Family. Laughter. Stories.

Ain't that a kicker?

XO. Tiffany

Comments

[tim leeson]

i loved reading about your love of the circus.utterly charming piece of writing.x